For instance: go off-roading on an ATV, jump on trampolines, hit the ice rink, visit a shooting range, go to a bowling alley, go roller skating, check out a water park, try go-karting, catch a movie, or ride a "space" swing.

Also:

- take a flight in a small plane, and have the pilot let you take the controls;

- visit a nude beach (much more convenient in the summer, of course);

- go horseback riding, ride a motorcycle (street bike, jet ski, quad, etc.), or rent a boat;

- go skydiving;

- head out to a biker festival;

- bring a cherished sexual fantasy to life, for example, a threesome (sorting through candidates will be just as entertaining as the main event itself);

- and sweat it all out in a sauna.

Choosing something from a program like this makes it easy to discover the psychological and physical qualities of a potential intimate partner on the first few dates. And keeping future dates just as action-packed is also interesting.

Nelli Verkhovska PhD in Psychology For more on alternative relationships, check out my YouTube channel

It was a hot day, ages ago. A bunch of green rookies arriving at an airfield near Chernihiv. They had these scary-as-hell, ancient planes waiting for us. "Kukuruzniks" (crop dusters), I think.

And we were about to jump out of them from a kilometer up.

First came the training. We jumped over car tires, learned how to land, and practiced pulling the right cords on the parachute.

Later on, I just pulled everything at once—turns out a couple of hours of ground school isn't quite enough. Besides, your brain completely reboots mid-air.

My landing wasn't exactly smooth. I hit the ground butt-first and then took a hard blow to the back of my head. Thank goodness I was wearing a helmet. The guys weren't given any; they had soft pilot caps, but the girls were handed rigid helmets, which were a rare luxury in those parts.

Lucky me: even with the helmet, I still managed to get a mild concussion. At the very least, I didn't just drop from the sky, I dropped straight into a dead faint. When I came to, the parachute was acting like a sail, dragging me across the ground. And suffocating me. With every yard, the lines bit tighter into my neck. You're supposed to unclip the chute immediately upon landing precisely to avoid this—but doing that while passed out is a bit of a challenge.

A guy who’d landed just ahead of me intervened and put an end to this BDSM-dragging. He pulled me out of the lines and untangled me. Looks like he was our resident Terminator-savior; either before or after me, he saved someone else the exact same way. Though he must have taken quite a beating himself.

Afterward, he lugged both our chutes off the field. I just couldn't—my legs were getting tangled, and I only had just enough strength to somehow trudge along behind him.

A beautiful memory. Wild impressions. Thankful for the experience.

Nelli Verkhovska PhD in Psychology For more on alternative relationships, check out my YouTube channel

Snippets of unintentionally erotic conversations overheard during my martial arts training sessions:

"Which exact part of your body am I supposed to thrust my hip into?"

"Let it be a surprise!"

*

"Just be careful, let's start nice and slow."

"Was I too rough with you?"

*

"Come here, you can do it all yourself."

"No, I want it from behind..."

(Negotiating who executes the technique and who acts as the dummy).

*

"I'll let you take the lead."

"Enjoying the submissive role?"

"I just love being behind you."

(During forward rolls).

*

"Did the boy not satisfy you?"

"Do you want to take his place?"

*

"Surrender to me, I know all the moves now!"

(Asking a partner to let themselves be thrown over the hip).

*

"Who is scarier as a partner: me or ***?"

"That's not even a question. You, obviously."

*

"Why am I last again?"

"Because you're the juiciest one."

*

"Be gentler with him, he deserves it."

"Alright, but I'll save my rough side for you."

"Yes!"

*

"Things are getting pretty erotic over here..."

"Join in, threesomes are always better!"

"With pleasure!"

*

I come home all disheveled, covered in marks from tight grips. And incredibly happy. I strip down, and notice a dark strand of hair on my chest...

"What is that?" my man asks suspiciously.

Playing innocent, with a touch of indignation, I reply:

"Martial arts practice!"

*

"Yes, more! Good job, I love it! Keep going! Good! Yes! Yes! Yes! I've never had it this good with anyone, only with ***!" — my sparring partner screamed out... while teaching me how to throw hooks...

*

"You, come here too. And you. Take turns. I want variety!!!"

"Monogamy is clearly not your thing..."

(Practicing strikes).

*

"Do you want me?"

"Yes, I want you."

(Figuring out who to drill the technique with).

*

"Are you going to hold me?"

"No. You're punching incorrectly."

(Drilling an irimi-nage throw).

*

"Yeah, that was good, I liked it."

"Stop turning me on, I can't concentrate!"

(Mid-flight across the tatami during yet another throw).

*

"Here, have your way with me... I mean, with my arm."

(In the middle of drilling a throw).

*

"Boys! Stop doing each other and do me!!!"

*

"Nelli likes it rough."

"She prefers doing it with men."

*

When we were mastering how to "drive the opponent back and drop them flat on their back by the chin," for humane reasons, we didn't throw the newbies onto the floor. Instead, we gently laid them back over the knee of the person executing the technique. So, I was tilted back like that, and out of habit (definitely not from combat scenarios), I threw my head back and closed my eyes. Amidst the roaring laughter of the group, I looked exactly like Scarlett O'Hara waiting for a kiss...

*

"Take him down! Lower him!"

"Does it feel good? Do you like it? Yes? Is this better? Is this the spot?"

"Get on top of me while I still can take it."

*

"You're a girl, make it feel good!" my partner scolded after I accidentally hurt him yet again.

*

"Get inside me! Deeper, deeper!"

"I can make it work on you!"

"She performs much better when you watch."

*

Pinning him in a shiho-nage control, I kept searching for my partner’s peak pain point, eyes blissfully closed for maximum sensitivity:

"Stop enjoying this so much!" my partner hissed suspiciously.

*

"I want to bend him to my will!"

"Well, at least romance me a little first. You know, flowers, chocolates..."

(Drilling a joint lock).

*

"Touch it first, just a light touch. So I don't get scared."

"Like this?"

"You can go harder."

*

"You get this hilarious, terrified look on your face when I swing at you!"

"You just haven't seen your own face in that exact moment."

*

"Why are you grinning like that, am I doing something wrong?"

"I look at your smile, and it completely blows my mind. But I can do it with a mean face too..." (Practicing a boxer's one-two punch).

*

"You always have this urge to smack my ass. It's a weird cross between a mawashi and a low kick."

"That's probably because you've been a bad boy."

*

"Boys, grab yourselves a girl!"

Awkward silence. Then a timid voice:

"How about we let the girls grab the boys?"

Just to mess with their heads, I walk straight toward two of them, and at the very last second, with a welcoming smile, I wrap my arms around the guy on the right.

*

"When you're handling my body, don't groan like you're about to fall apart. You're a strong man, so handle me like I'm a feather."

*

"Keep your hands clean, you might need to touch me with them again."

*

"You're always bossing me around, even when I'm the one attacking! You're supposed to submit to me!"

 

"You were softer today than ever before."

"I just don't want to kill him anymore."

*

"No, I don't want you holding me without a smile."

Stepping in close and looking him right in the eyes:

"Is this better?"

"Much..."

*

"Lie down and spread your legs," the coach said. "And now, it's going to hurt a lot."

"Who?" I ask, mildly panicked.

"Me. Just lift your legs higher. And squeeze them tight."

(A hilariously erotic ground submission that involves crushing the opponent's ribs with a leg squeeze).

 

 

 

Nelli Verkhovska PhD in Psychology For more on alternative relationships, check out my YouTube channel

Just a little note to myself. For a month, maybe longer, I was running every single day—starting with 5k, then 6k, steadily pushing the distance all the way up to 10 kilometers.

Absolute madness. You simply cannot do that to your body.

But my body seemed to handle it just fine, and it was actually fun—until one day I got this roaring in my head and felt completely lightheaded and borderline faint afterward.

I decided to take a 24-hour breather and spent a good while listening to my knee scream absolute obscenities at me—point taken. Cue the relaxation, massagers, and parading around in gorgeous dresses for the neighbors' viewing pleasure.

I rested! Got my daily routine back on track and slept like a puppy that had run itself ragged in the yard. And yesterday, knocking out those 9.02 km felt incredibly effortless and sweet.

Maybe this is how everything we do is supposed to feel? Not like the Terminator on a mission, hell-bent on catching John Connor at all costs. But playfully, just for the pure thrill of it.

I promise, I'm not running anywhere today. I'm going to slip into a new dress and go for a stroll, playfully pretending not to notice the lingering stares. And it is going to be glorious!

Nelli Verkhovska PhD in Psychology For more on alternative relationships, check out my YouTube channel