"I love you: every single cell of your body, your thoughts, your fears. I love living and breathing you. Text me sometimes, even just to say nothing. I'm always eager for a word from you."

Stuck in bridge traffic, he jumped out from behind the wheel and grabbed some food from the trunk for his starving girl. They drove on, savoring a gift—a threesome involving another guy, simply because she wanted it. A man capable of gifting even unconventional joy is far more fascinating than one who restricts it.

"For the first time, tears welled up from a visceral surge of love, making me want to sob. I’ve cried from orgasms before, but this, apparently, is orgasmic love."

*

If you are insanely exhausted and have zero energy left for anything—dive right into intimacy. The energy will spark in the process. And afterward, you'll be amazed to find that the fatigue and tension have simply vanished. You feel good, and you are happy...

*

Sometimes, you are overcome by overwhelming waves of euphoria for simply being alive. And you feel grateful to the whole world: to nature, the sunlight, your beloved writers, and your friends for making your reality so rich and multifaceted. And there is still so much out there that is fascinating and unexplored!

*

"Whenever I think about us parting ways, I cry. I want you to be happy, and I try to care for you as best I can, to teach you the nuances I know, and I am far from indifferent to you. I luxuriate in how you treat me. I respect you for your triumphs and adventures, and I get furious when you fall short of the mark in something. I suppose you could call that love."

*

It’s a magnificent thing when, instead of anger, the urge to lash out, or any other vile symptom of a bruised ego in response to rejected feelings, you look at a photo of your former adoration and think:

"Be happy, baby."

And on top of that, you get to revel in your own nobility! That’s how a petty drama gets forged into self-respect.

*

He didn't show up for our date, and my world was turning upside down. But the guy who had been waiting for me listened, took it all in, and right then, for the very first time, told me he loved me... I burst out laughing.

"Please, don't laugh."

He kissed me softly and with a touch of shyness. I think that moment beats every single failed date with the other guy combined.

*

We are completely stuffed, lounging in bed. I whine:

"Let me lie on my back, and you get on top. It'll be easier for me."

"And what about me?!"

"I’ll be busy showering you with pity."

*

"You're still coming, right?"

"Yes, I just need to celebrate Catholic Christmas, and then I'm on my way to you."

"Why aren't you spending it with me?"

"Because it's Catholic..."

"I would celebrate a Jewish and a Muslim Christmas with you, just get over here!"

*

I remember your hands being rinsed with mineral water outside in December, just because I wanted you to wash them. You knew how freezing your slender fingers would get, but you did it anyway. There is a multitude of touching little details and memories tucked into every corner of my world—we loved each other there.

I smile at all the absurdities that accidentally happened, the fights, and the reconciliations. And your exhaustion for my sake was beautiful: you did so much to please your capricious and sharp-tongued queen, my reckless, brave knight.

And then there were the dreams where I came to you, the sailing ships that rocked us in our fantasies. I was starved of love once—and you made up for it completely.

 

 

 

Photos and video by the author

Nelli Verkhovska PhD in Psychology For more on alternative relationships, check out my YouTube channel