The Stingy Exhibitionist

"I want a playful Mistress! Laugh! Laugh at me!" he bounded around completely pantsless, desperate for a wild reaction.

No, he isn't a freak—provided this is unfolding during a session with a kink-friendly psychologist, rather than in a park in front of unsuspecting passersby. Exhibitionism is when a subject is hooked on the attention their naked body receives (it’s what triggers their absolute peak arousal).

A civilized fetishist seeks out consensual, negotiated arrangements for this. The primitive breed hunts for victims to flash their "treasures" in entirely inappropriate settings. Blasting out unsolicited dick pics falls squarely into this category.

"Laugh!"

The human psyche is a tree hung with all sorts of bizarre ornaments. Take the craving for mockery, for instance... But if we look at it from the audience's point of view, exactly how much fun is it to watch a naked guy flapping his junk around? Unless, of course, he is a burlesque master who has dedicated his entire life to the art of entertaining through this exact medium. Simply dropping your pants does not make you a comedian.

And herein lies the secret mechanism that guarantees the fully clothed play partner will find the show both hilarious and engaging: getting paid for the view. The fatter the check, the fiercer the enthusiasm. Conversely, forcing this spectacle on someone for free or for pocket change is repulsive and risky—people don’t call the cops on street flashers to demand an encore.

Remember: a free exhibition is just public indecency, but a generously funded one transforms you into a beloved, highly anticipated maestro. Put a premium price on your props.

Nelli Verkhovska PhD in Psychology For more on alternative relationships, check out my YouTube channel